Thursday, March 1, 2012

Stereotyping


     Before I tell my sad story about someone stereotyping me at work yesterday, let me supply the definition for stereotype: A broad, but fixed and generalized image of a particular type of person or group of people that is applied to individual members of those groups.

     As the definition is circling and rotating the gears in your brain, apply the definition to yourself. Have you ever been stereotyped before? Oh, I have, yesterday a matter of fact. I answered the phone at my job (I’m in retail), and this gentleman wanted to know how to unsubscribe his email address for free coupons to the store. He was worried about his identity being stolen. Well, I told him he has to call the store’s customer service number and do it through them. He didn’t like that answer. He wanted it done right at that moment, god forbid. He then said, “Kids these days! Uneducated! No wonder why you work in retail!” 

     Um….excuse me? Uneducated so I work in retail? That is just a stereotypical thing to say, is it not? Not all employees are uneducated and work in retail. I have an Associates degree in graphic design and working on my Bachelors degree as a RN. Uneducated? No….Matter of fact, almost all of my co-workers are in college working on a degree. We may be in retail, but we are not stupid. If it wasn’t for those that work in retail, there wouldn’t be stores to shop at, right? 

     Since this incident happened to me, I recalled in my Interpersonal Communications class discussing stereotyping. There are three steps in stereotyping: Identifying a group we believe another person belongs to, recalling a generalization others often make about the group of people, and we apply the generalization to the person. To put it as an example, I work in retail, so I must be uneducated, so I must be stupid. 

     Other examples of stereotyping are: Steel mill workers are always grumpy, women are the worst drivers, SUV women drivers must be soccer moms, and women belong in the kitchen while men belong at work for support. Many people do find stereotyping unethical and offensive.  Stereotyping does lead to inaccurate observations of people. It is important to look at our perceptions before we act/say anything about them. Judging others isn’t the way to go. Think before you act. Are they really like that, or is it just a bad first impression? 

     As I right this blog, two questions sprouted in my brain. What if the world abandoned stereotyping? Should we abandon stereotyping altogether? Kory Floyd, an author of Interpersonal Communication Second Edition, says that it is unrealistic to abandon stereotyping. We should instead find a more productive way to deal with stereotyping through awareness and communication. You must be aware of the perceptions of stereotyping, and then instead of assuming that our perceptions of people are correct, we should get to know them first. Have you heard of the saying, “Don’t judge a book by the cover.”? It’s a true saying. Meeting someone for the first time can be nerve wrecking and stressful. In first impressions, you try to show someone what they want to see; although, most of the time it doesn’t work out that way. Instead we show that person someone they don’t want to see, so they stereotype and judge. So, try those two steps when you meet someone: Be aware of your perceptions and then get to know the person. You might surprise yourself by becoming a friend of someone you thought was a stereotype that you wouldn’t of have been friends with.  


                                           
                                        http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rde2654l.jpg


     The link below is a different perspective about stereotyping. You should check it out to learn more about this subject.

Self Concept: Do you know who you are?


     Have you ever asked yourself, “Who am I?” It’s a question I’m sure all of us have asked ourselves once, twice, or many of times. I have asked myself that question more times than I can count. So who are you? What is your self-concept? What is your identity? And the biggest question, do you know your own self?


     First off, what is self-concept anyways? Self-concept is a set of the ideas that you have about the kind of person you are. This is also known as your identity. There are three characteristics to self-concept: They are multifaceted, partly subjective, and enduring but changeable.

1)     Multifaceted:

        When you think about yourself, we are actually a collection of smaller and smaller selves. For starters, we may think of our name, like mine is Valerie. I’m female. I’m German and Polish with a little Gypsy. I’m a loyal friend. I’m a honest and true individual. These are just pieces of myself. I still have so many other pieces to dig out. For instance; I’m a college student, a girlfriend, a daughter, a graphic designer, a neighbor that has to stomp on the floor to get the neighbors below me to turn their awful music down. There are so many hidden subjects about ourselves. Some subjects can be seen by others while you can’t yourself realize it’s there. Have you heard of the Johari Window? It’s a visual representation of components of yourself that are known or unknown to yourself and to others. Here’s a link to show you what the Johari Window looks like: http://akidpogi.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/johari-window.jpg.


     Try filling this window out. Do you know what is known/unknown about yourself, and known by others? 


2)     Partly Subjective:


        “Who am I?” also deals with objective facts in detail about ourselves. They are based on a fact and not opinions. You can have a choice about this objective fact. For instance, I was born in Michigan, but I chose to move to Indiana. I have brown eyes, but I can change that by putting in blue contacts to have blue eyes. Although there are objective facts, there’s also subjective. What subjective means is we can base ourselves in impressions. Sometimes these opinions about ourselves can be irrationally positive. Some people have unrealistic ideas about their special traits, talents, intelligence, or physical appearance. Some may be positive judgments, but others can be negative as well; low self-esteem. There are people who don’t look at their positive side and their abilities. They look at their failures instead. They never look back on their accomplishments. If someone sees that they are unintelligent, they act upon that and think it’s true. If someone is told that they will never mount to be anything in this world, that’s what they will think and become. Without seeing our positive subjective sides, we will become what other’s see.


3)     Enduring but Changeable:


        Self-concept just doesn’t appear and stay, although. It grows and develops over time. It may be a long process to understand who we are, but in the end it’s worth it. There are many things that can affect how self-concept develops. For instance, the people we associate with, those that influence us, role models, biological makeup, how we were raised, and by those that judge us negatively. Our self-concept can change and change again depending on who and what surrounds you. I, for one, had low self-esteem in my teenage years. I still do just because I had others who would say negative things about me in high school. They said I wasn’t intelligent, and that I was ugly. I thought these were facts and that I would always be this way. SO NOT TRUE! As I grew, I realized I’m not stupid and I’m not ugly! I’m an intelligent, beautiful, caring woman. I’m quiet, enthusiastic, shy, trustworthy, and loyal. I’m a procrastinator, and still have self-esteem issues. I may not be perfect, but really….who is? You are yourself. You’re not like others. Not every event may change your self-concept, but instead, it’s you who changes it. You’re the one in control. Not others.

     So why don’t you try asking yourself again, “Who am I?” Write down what you think. Start with the basics. Are you a mother or father? Are you a daughter or son? Are you a volunteer? Then start categorizing the little details as in your personality and so on. Try out the Johari Window. You know what; let me give you a website that my Interpersonal Communications instructor gave me: http://kevan.org/johari.  Try filling this out, and send it to your friends and family. Have them fill it out and see who you think you are and what others perceive you as. Try it. I dare you! You’ll learn more about yourself, and realize who you are.


     I have another great website that you should check! 
       
          http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shift-mind/201006/who-am-i

Cultures vs. Co-Cultures


     The word, culture, has a variety of different meanings. I remember in biology the definition of culture was a growth or colony of bacteria. Today, I’m not going to talk about cultures living on your kitchen counter, nor the cultures that live on your computer keyboard. Of course I’m not going to talk about the cultures that live in your toilet. Today I want to talk about the culture definition of learned and shared values, norms, language, and behavior patterns that distinguish a group of people from another group.

     Have you ever heard of in-groups and out-groups? I’m sure you have, in fact we all belong to an in-group and out-group. An in-group is a group of people that you identify with, while an out-group is the opposite; it is a group of people that you don’t identify with.

     Immigrants, for one, have a hard time with in-groups/out-groups. They experience high levels of stress as they move to another nation, just because it’s hard to fit in with an in-group. This stress is called culture shock; the feeling of disorientation experienced when subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes. Immigrants try to fit in, but it’s very difficult. That’s why in the United States of America we see subdivisions like China Town, or parts of a town that may be Dutch or Spanish. I for one lived in a German community called Moltke, Michigan. My great-great grandparents on my father side moved from Germany and moved to a German area in Michigan just so that they could be part of an in-group. On my mother’s side, well, I don’t know exactly how many “greats” to use, so I’ll say, great-great grandparents moved from Poland to Posen, Michigan which is filled with many Pollock’s so they could be part of an in-group. Cultures aren’t just inherited. You can’t acquire a culture. You learn culture by those that raise you. Since my great-great grandparents were brought up a certain way, they wanted to be with others that were just like them, other’s that learned the same norms, values, symbols, and language.  

     Within cultures, there are co-cultures. Co-cultures are groups of people who share values, norms, and interests beyond their national citizenship. I myself have been a part of a co-culture. I may be Polish-German, but I associated with other’s that were Irish, or English, or Mexican.  For an example, in high school, I was in the “shy” co-culture. All my friends were of different nationalities and lived in small communities of their culture like I have in Moltke, but we shared the same values and norms; shy, quiet, and reserved, but not towards each other. We had the same understandings, tastes in food, behavior patterns, and interests. I thought I could get out of the shy co-culture. I wanted to be with the groups, such as the preppy, cheerful, bubbly cheerleaders. I tried out for cheerleading, which was a big step out of my safety net. As the season went on, I still wasn’t “part” of the cheerleading co-culture. In fact, it was very stressful just trying to fit in with this new group. Cheerleading didn’t last long for me. I just went back to my familiar co-culture. My friends and I had the same interests unlike the cheerleaders and I. The cheerleaders didn’t have the same interests, nor the values that I held. Don’t get me wrong. You can be part of multiple co-cultures. You might belong to co-cultures that share the same ethnicity, religion, music, or age group. Within these groups, they have their own norms, traditions, or values. Co-cultures can be seen with in other co-cultures.

     As you read this, what in-groups, cultures, co-cultures came to your mind that you may be part of? It’s an interesting thought process going back in your family history and seeing if they belonged to an in-group culture, or trying to think of the co-cultures that you belong or belonged to. For one, I had fun. 

     Here are a few websites you should check out:

          Anthony Bourdain is a professional chef that travels the world, finding new dishes to try while experiencing the food and customs of the people. His show is called, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.    

               
          The National Geographic Society, since 1888, is a a large non-profit organization that explores the worlds geography, archaeology, and natural sciences.
               

Communication Competency


     First off, let me tell you, I’m nervous about blogging. I never blogged before, and this blog is for a class grade. One thing that excites me, although, is the fact that I get to learn more about Interpersonal Communication not just by testing, but by using my creativity.

     When I first started this class, I didn’t know what Interpersonal Communication even was. The truth is I chose this class because my other choice was horrifying, Speech Class. I don’t like getting in front of people and speaking. I’m a shy, quiet individual that likes to sit in a corner and listen to what is being said. So, my question when I entered the classroom for the first time was, “What is Interpersonal Communication?”

     Of course, my textbook, Interpersonal Communication Second Edition by Kory Floyd had the definition, “Communication that occurs between two people within the context of their relationship and that, as it evolves, helps them to negotiate and define their relationship” (22). The definition explained what Interpersonal Communication was, but what are the subdivisions that make communication interpersonal? I explored my textbook, with a little less confused look on my face, and found a subdivision that looked interesting; Communication Competence.
     
     Competence is having the necessary ability, knowledge, or skill to do something successfully. In communication, you need to communicate in ways that are effective and suitable for a given situation. To be a good communicator, you need to have competent characteristics in most situations. In all, there are five characteristics. 

1)     Self-awareness:
     
        To be a good communicator, one must know about their own individuality, and behaviors. When you know about yourself and how it affects others, you are able to see how your behavior either fits or doesn’t fit in a certain social setting and situation. To have a high level of emotional intelligence allows you to understand people’s social behaviors and emotions precisely.

2)     Adaptability:
     
        Ever feel like a conversation is going wrong because the other person is mentioning something that makes you think, “Ew…” or “Why are you telling me this?” I have several times. The individual that told you “ew” things didn’t adapt to the situation when they saw you look away. That individual didn’t know how to adapt to a certain situation or social setting. To deliver a good joke, speech, or story, you have to be aware of your audience and adapt your behavior to your audience. You must know what will be appropriate and effective in a given social setting.

3)      Empathy:
                 
               The ability to understand and share the feelings of another is called empathy. People don’t think and feel like you may during a similar situation. There are even people out in this vast world that don’t even have empathy. They are egocentric, self-centered, selfish individuals that don’t look at others perspectives before they communicate. It’s important to know how others are feeling and thinking to correctly adapt to a certain situation.

4)      Cognitive Complexity:
                         
         Here’s the definition from my pal, Kory Floyd, “The ability to understand a given situation in multiple ways” (29). To understand situations in different perspectives helps you to choose what is going on in that situation. Behaviors and body language don’t always mean what we like to think they mean. If someone, say a friend, doesn’t notice you right away at school, or say, someone that always talks to you didn’t this time around; it doesn’t mean that they are mad at you, or they want to ignore you. They may have something else on their mind and in deep thought. Always consider different explanations for that person’s behavior.

5)      Ethics:
                         
         The last competent characteristic is ethics. Ethics is moral principles or a set of ideas about what is right and what is wrong. To become aware of your own ethical beliefs and to be aware of other’s ethical beliefs will allow you to see a person’s perspective besides your own.

     After I read about communication competency, I began to analyze myself. Am I a competent communicator? I may be shy and quiet, but I believe I am competent. I think about what others are feeling, I put myself in their shoes, and I adapt to situations, but I also have areas that need improving. My conversational involvement and effectiveness is at a low level. I’m shy, so I don’t know what to say in a conversation, I self-doubt myself, and have low self-esteem. I lived in the boondocks for 18 years of my life until I moved to a college city. Being in the boondocks with only your siblings, parents, and animals to talk to didn’t help me improve nor gain experience in social communication. What is a dog going to say during a conversation? “Woof!” What does that mean? Ok, “Woof” to you too! *Shrugs and sighs*

     Yes I had friends in school, but since I lived miles away from them, it was hard to socialize with them out of school. As the years went by and I moved to bigger and bigger cities, I began to improve my social communication. I still have loads of work to do to improve, but I know how to treat others, and that’s with respect and consideration. 

                                                                        Image from:
                             http://www.ideachampions.com/weblogs/communication-983x1024.jpg


          Here's another great website that explains how to be a good communicator:
       
               http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com/good-communication-skills.html