Attraction Theory

     We all know that others are attracted to someone you may find not attractive. In high school and college I had friends that were attracted to this athlete that was popular and well, good looking. My friends were in aw of this fellow. He was physically attractive, but someone I wouldn’t go out with. He didn’t have humor, he didn’t have brains, and most of all, he was a player. I for one am attracted to a man who has brains, humor, respectful, cute in appearance and personality, and who loves to play video games as much as I do. I have found this man, my beloved Kenneth. He means everything to me. He’s not just my boyfriend, but my best friend in the world.

     What is “attraction theory”, although?  There is interpersonal attraction, which is any force that draws people together to make a relationship. There is physical attraction, which is attraction to a person’s physical appearance. There is social attraction, which is attraction to a person’s personality. Lastly, there is task attraction, which is someone’s abilities and dependability that is attractive.  However, there are four especially powerful factors of attraction that research suggests: personal appearance, proximity, similarity, and complementarity. 

      1)      Personal Appearance of Attraction:

       Humans are highly visually oriented, which motivates a person to get to know someone better they find physically attracted to. Humans have always valued and appreciate physical attractiveness. Throughout history, humans wanted mates that were more physically attractive.

      2)      Proximity of Attraction:

       Firstly, what does proximity mean? Proximity is how close/near people live or work and how they interact. Humans are more likely to form friendships and relationships with others that they see often.

      3)      Similarity of Attraction:

       Think about your friends or spouse. Think about their personalities, beliefs, experiences, and interests. Now think about yourself. You probably have a lot in common with them, don’t you. We often find people that are similar to us more comfortable and familiar to interact with. It almost seems as if we already know them from inside and out because of common interests. Humans find similarity to be attractive because of social validation to find people who are similar, and because of our genetic interests. Genetic interests? Yes, our primitive ancestors distinguished relatives from nonrelatives because of physical appearance and behavior.

      4)      Complementary of Attraction:

       There is a saying that says, “Opposites attract.” Why is this though? No one is going to be exactly the same. Everyone differs in one way or another. We attract others that are opposite because we see their differences as complementary. Complementary refers to as benefits to ourselves because others provide a quality that we lack. The key to this, although, is that the people involved have to see their differences as positive just to get along. Shy people may be attracted to someone outgoing because that way the shy person can be more sociable. Makes sense, right?

     I know Kenneth and I have similar interests, but we are also the opposite. I was never interested in computers until he taught me about them. I’m not interested in technology like he is. Kenneth is always, always looking up and researching new ideas for future technology, while I’m looking at new ways to bake a cake. *Giggles* We are different in others ways, and it makes a relationship VERY interesting.