First off, let me tell you, I’m nervous about
blogging. I never blogged before, and this blog is for a class grade. One thing
that excites me, although, is the fact that I get to learn more about
Interpersonal Communication not just by testing, but by using my creativity.
When I first started this class, I didn’t know what
Interpersonal Communication even was. The truth is I chose this class because
my other choice was horrifying, Speech Class. I don’t like getting in front of
people and speaking. I’m a shy, quiet individual that likes to sit in a corner
and listen to what is being said. So, my question when I entered the classroom
for the first time was, “What is Interpersonal Communication?”
Of course, my textbook, Interpersonal Communication
Second Edition by Kory Floyd had the definition, “Communication that occurs
between two people within the context of their relationship and that, as it
evolves, helps them to negotiate and define their relationship” (22). The
definition explained what Interpersonal Communication was, but what are the
subdivisions that make communication interpersonal? I explored my textbook,
with a little less confused look on my face, and found a subdivision that
looked interesting; Communication Competence.
Competence is having the necessary ability, knowledge, or skill to do something
successfully. In communication, you need to communicate in ways that are
effective and suitable for a given situation. To be a good communicator, you
need to have competent characteristics in most situations. In all, there are
five characteristics.
1) Self-awareness:
To
be a good communicator, one must know about their own individuality, and
behaviors. When you know about yourself and how it affects others, you are able
to see how your behavior either fits or doesn’t fit in a certain social setting
and situation. To have a high level of emotional intelligence allows you to
understand people’s social behaviors and emotions precisely.
2) Adaptability:
Ever feel like a conversation is
going wrong because the other person is mentioning something that makes you
think, “Ew…” or “Why are you telling me this?” I have several times. The individual that told you “ew” things didn’t
adapt to the situation when they saw you look away. That individual didn’t know
how to adapt to a certain situation or social setting. To deliver a good joke,
speech, or story, you have to be aware of your audience and adapt your behavior
to your audience. You must know what will be appropriate and effective in a
given social setting.
3) Empathy:
The
ability to understand and share the feelings of another is called empathy.
People don’t think and feel like you may during a similar situation. There are
even people out in this vast world that don’t even have empathy. They are egocentric, self-centered, selfish individuals that don’t look at others perspectives before they communicate. It’s important
to know how others are feeling and thinking to correctly adapt to a certain situation.
4) Cognitive Complexity:
Here’s the definition from my pal,
Kory Floyd, “The ability to understand a given situation in multiple ways” (29). To
understand situations in different perspectives helps you to choose what is
going on in that situation. Behaviors and body language don’t always mean what
we like to think they mean. If someone, say a friend, doesn’t notice you right
away at school, or say, someone that always talks to you didn’t this time
around; it doesn’t mean that they are mad at you, or they want to ignore you.
They may have something else on their mind and in deep thought. Always consider
different explanations for that person’s behavior.
5) Ethics:
The last competent characteristic is ethics. Ethics is moral
principles or a set of ideas about what is right and what is wrong. To become
aware of your own ethical beliefs and to be aware of other’s ethical beliefs
will allow you to see a person’s perspective besides your own.
After I read about communication competency, I began
to analyze myself. Am I a competent communicator? I may be shy and quiet, but I
believe I am competent. I think about what others are feeling, I put myself in
their shoes, and I adapt to situations, but I also have areas that need
improving. My conversational involvement and effectiveness is at a low level.
I’m shy, so I don’t know what to say in a conversation, I self-doubt myself,
and have low self-esteem. I lived in the boondocks for 18 years of my life
until I moved to a college city. Being in the boondocks with only your siblings,
parents, and animals to talk to didn’t help me improve nor gain experience in
social communication. What is a dog going to say during a conversation? “Woof!”
What does that mean? Ok, “Woof” to you too! *Shrugs and sighs*
Yes I had friends in school, but since I lived miles
away from them, it was hard to socialize with them out of school. As the years
went by and I moved to bigger and bigger cities, I began to improve my social
communication. I still have loads of work to do to improve, but I know how to
treat others, and that’s with respect and consideration.
Image from:
Here's another great website that explains how to be a good communicator:
http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com/good-communication-skills.html
http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com/good-communication-skills.html
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