Common Sources of Conflict

     Even though some may try to avoid conflict, it really can be beneficial to a relationship. But…you have to work through the conflict in a positive manner. This can lead to two people learning more about each other and their relationship. Managing conflict can also prevent small problems accelerating into larger ones. My boyfriend and I have had quit a few conflicts, but these conflicts have taught us valuable lessons about each other. In a way, the conflicts were something everyone needs to experience to learn and wise up in life.

     Let us discuss the most common sources of conflict. What are some of the most usual issues people fight about? Larry Erbert did a study on spouses and conflict. He asked spouses to report the common source of conflict in their marriage. Both the men and women identified personal criticisms as the leading conflict. Personal criticism is when a spouse complains and criticizes about their partner’s undesirable behavior and bad habits.

     The second common conflict Larry Erbert identified was finances, or conflicts about money. This really isn’t an uncommon conflict between spouses. Spouses disagree about how the money should be saved, invested, or spent. Money can be a scarce resource for some people. My boyfriend and I are amongst this group of fighters. We are broke college students trying to get good grades and make ends meet. It can be difficult at times, but we struggle and get through the hard times.

     The third common conflict that was found is household chores. Oh man! This is definitely the most common amongst my boyfriend and I! Spouses have to negotiate how to divide up tasks; cleaning, cooking, and maintenance. When these responsibilities are at fail, this can bring about a big conflict.  I know it’s hard at times to meet these responsibilities, so don’t go all panicky on the person who failed. Talk it over and see what happened and what can change.